Musing For Today
One of my recent trips to the coin laundry was a brief nightmare at the start.
When depositing quarters into the washer they kept getting stuck, and as I kept hammering the side of the coin box the attendant came over, stating "You don't have to hit it", then kept pressing the coin return to retrieve each quarter that kept getting stuck, displaying the algebraic techniques and procedures necessary for performing the complicated task of getting a coin washer started. She was even "generous" enough to allow me to put the last two quarters in myself ("You just need two more quarters now").
Any casual observer would have wagered on it being my very first trip to a coin laundry.
Amazing how a machine can reduce one's intelligence by 100 I.Q. points by simply being "uncooperative", as apparently "it has to be something I'M doing wrong" to cause such issues. Maybe I'm just retarded, or just "don't know what the fuck I'm doing".
Fortunately my luck with the dryer was much better:
Lay down dryer sheets, transfer freshly washed threads from washer to dryer, set mode (high heat), close door, insert dollar coin, press "start"
...all went off without a hitch. My intelligence level raised back up 100 I.Q. points.
Two days later I have to return to the same coin laundry. Same attendant at the counter ("Uh-oh!").
Grudgingly, I put detergent in the washer basin, load the clothes, shut the lid, then pull out my change bag and grab a handful of quarters
...using a different machine now, I feed the first quarter in: "Plunk!"---just "flew down the chute" like it was "greased on the inside". Smo-o-o-o-th!! I followed with the rest of the quarters---they also just "slid down", without a hitch. EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM!!! The "select cycle" light blinks, I select "colors" (warm wash, cold rinse), press button
I'm elated!!! My I.Q. level is now shown to be on the up-and-up. I "know what I'm doing" once again, just like all the other times before. I'm, once more, "knowledgeable" and "competent".
It's amazing the power appliances and gadgets have over our souls:
When they malfunction in our hands they show us up as being "ignorant and stupid fuck-ups who don't know what the hell we're doing" or as being "too inept to figure out how to properly use the settings or applications".
When they perform flawlessly and function smoothly (as programmed/promised) in our hands they verify our abilities and aptitude for figuring things out on our own, as well as our level of knowledge, our competence and reliability.
I realize how much our own level of intelligence and our abilities are gauged by how well our machines, appliances, and gadgets are able to perform when it's OUR hands pressing the button, flicking the switches, or turning the knobs.
One of my recent trips to the coin laundry was a brief nightmare at the start.
When depositing quarters into the washer they kept getting stuck, and as I kept hammering the side of the coin box the attendant came over, stating "You don't have to hit it", then kept pressing the coin return to retrieve each quarter that kept getting stuck, displaying the algebraic techniques and procedures necessary for performing the complicated task of getting a coin washer started. She was even "generous" enough to allow me to put the last two quarters in myself ("You just need two more quarters now").
Any casual observer would have wagered on it being my very first trip to a coin laundry.
Amazing how a machine can reduce one's intelligence by 100 I.Q. points by simply being "uncooperative", as apparently "it has to be something I'M doing wrong" to cause such issues. Maybe I'm just retarded, or just "don't know what the fuck I'm doing".
Fortunately my luck with the dryer was much better:
Lay down dryer sheets, transfer freshly washed threads from washer to dryer, set mode (high heat), close door, insert dollar coin, press "start"
...all went off without a hitch. My intelligence level raised back up 100 I.Q. points.
Two days later I have to return to the same coin laundry. Same attendant at the counter ("Uh-oh!").
Grudgingly, I put detergent in the washer basin, load the clothes, shut the lid, then pull out my change bag and grab a handful of quarters
...using a different machine now, I feed the first quarter in: "Plunk!"---just "flew down the chute" like it was "greased on the inside". Smo-o-o-o-th!! I followed with the rest of the quarters---they also just "slid down", without a hitch. EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM!!! The "select cycle" light blinks, I select "colors" (warm wash, cold rinse), press button
I'm elated!!! My I.Q. level is now shown to be on the up-and-up. I "know what I'm doing" once again, just like all the other times before. I'm, once more, "knowledgeable" and "competent".
It's amazing the power appliances and gadgets have over our souls:
When they malfunction in our hands they show us up as being "ignorant and stupid fuck-ups who don't know what the hell we're doing" or as being "too inept to figure out how to properly use the settings or applications".
When they perform flawlessly and function smoothly (as programmed/promised) in our hands they verify our abilities and aptitude for figuring things out on our own, as well as our level of knowledge, our competence and reliability.
I realize how much our own level of intelligence and our abilities are gauged by how well our machines, appliances, and gadgets are able to perform when it's OUR hands pressing the button, flicking the switches, or turning the knobs.
But think how smug you made the attendant feel. :D
ReplyDeleteI think a large part of the issue is the fact that she already IS a smug bitch to begin with
ReplyDelete