Tuesday, February 18, 2014

I just had cataract surgery last week (talk about "lifting the fog") and, of course, being a form of surgery there are the usual postoperative directives and regiments that come with such types of procedures:
No heavy lifting
No bending over (If what I need is on the floor or on a bottom shelf do I use telekinetic energy to get ahold of it?)
No sudden movements (If the apartment building catches fire I'm "haulin' ass" outta here, no matter what!)
Avoid excess activity (Just living in an apartment comprises constant cooking, cleaning, and shuffling stuff around)
Avoid stress (Yeah, right!!  Then stop the world and there won't be the potential "sudden surprise" factor)
Get plenty of rest  (Pass the word along to the drunks who hang out in the alley behind the apartment building and are always yelling and screaming half the night.  Let them know they'll need to find an alternative alley to hang out in for the next couple nights or so.  And inform the motorists: no loud muffler cars or horn honking.  And tell the city garbage collectors not to bang the dumpsters against their trucks so hard at 7 o'clock in the morning.  I gotta get my rest already!)
Wear eye patch at night
Apply drops to operative eye 2 to 4 times daily  (All 3 eyedrops, mind you.  You'd be surprised how debilitating that can be when you have to follow THAT ritual every day.)

...and other such realistically feasible instructionalisms.  All that's needed is to be able to stop the world in its tracks for a few days on my behalf.

Health care professionals are dedicated people and all that, but they all live in such a microcosmic universe of their own and seem to have no idea how most others have to live.  (My favorite directive is "No lifting or straining", then they prescribe medication that also causes constipation among its side effects.  What do you suppose happens on the toilet?  Str-r-r-r-a-a-a-innnn!)

And in another two weeks I'll have to have my other eye operated on.


  1. Good luck with your second operation.

    If I wasn't so busy and distracted I would have responded to your comments at my blog. I appreciate your feedback.

    1. Good to hear from you, my friend.
      I apologize for misspelling the word "field" when I commented on your post.