Friday, May 11, 2012

Guiltless? (Or Just Too Comfortable With Life?)

I had an Algebra teacher when I was in high school who, when I mentioned how hard it is for me to fall asleep (while explaining why I was "always so tired in class"), told me (unequivocally) that "all I have to do is just lay my head down on my pillow and I'm out, just like that".
Apparrently she's never had any sleep-related problems.

To this day I'm still plagued with the inability to get to sleep right away (no matter how tired I am) and to sleep the whole night (or morning) through.

These days I wouldn't so much be jealous of someone like my 10th grade Algebra teacher as I would be annoyed or disgusted.

Are they really THAT comfortable with life that they could relax and be serene enough to just unwind at will and relax "without a care"?

In my (myopic) opinion NO-ONE should ever have the right to be that "relaxed with life"
...not in a world like this with all it's prejudices and conspiracies and double standards.

I figure that anyone who isn't paranoid and chronically "on edge" to the point of risking  permanent insanity---not to mention the physical maladies that come with being irreparably wrecked emotionally and spiritually---is just...ultimately delusional.

In this world whoever isn't out-to-get-you thinks you're out-to-get-them.
It's the kind of world where you get robbed one moment and arrested for theft the next
...NO-ONE's on your side.

The way I figure it people who have no trouble falling asleep (and staying asleep) are those who are either overconfident and "always-in-control" of their affairs
...or maybe they've just lived a clean and conservative uncorrupted lifestyle and it's their clear conscience that enables them to "be at peace with themselves".

I should mention that my 10th grade Algebra teacher was single and happily "living her own life" (at a time when marriage and divorce were still the predominant norm)---and was a domineering and strong-willed type individual
...that may explain her aptitude for nocturnal self-control.

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