Wednesday, June 13, 2012

I Was "9-11" When "9-11" Wasn't Cool

I remember, shortly after the events of September 11 2001 happened, reading the accounts of "how this tragedy has affected the lives of Americans"
...among the after-effects of "9-11":  that a lot of those interviewed mentioned having their "sense of faith and trust in" the system-of-things shattered.  That they "can no longer take everything for granted like they did before"...and that they're "now paranoid everywhere they go and no longer feel safe anywhere"...that they "now don't know what's going to happen next".
...sort of a collective "post-traumatic stress syndrome" so to speak.

My response to these and other similar type reactions (which I don't readily recall at this time) was, more than anything, to be a bit surprised and bitterly amused---mainly at the notion that anyone would ever be able to feel "confident in" anything or "feel safe" even out in public, or just plain-out be able to take anything "for granted" without thinking twice about anything.

I, myself, have NEVER been comfortable with life nor with the ways of the world.
...of course, you have to understand, this is arbitrary...
As I've mentioned many times before, I've always been a social outcast, an oddball.
Consequently, as you might figure, I've been subject to all manners of social discrimination---including exclusionism, bullying in school while growing up, being taken advantage of for the amusement of others, being either mocked, ignored, or treated by others in a condescending manner.
Also, there were plenty of occasions where I had to endure being falsely accused (or, if I was guilty, having to bear the full brunt of the maximum punishments).
And there was also being denied and deprived of certain entitlements most (even average) people are allowed, or just expect to have par-for-the-course.

All those years of being treated so contemptiously and enduring all the hostilities and silent prejudices, taking the blame for anything amiss or screwed-up, and just the overall "being laughed at or about" has made me very insecure, nontrusting, and completely self-conscious---always double-checking mysef constantly to make sure "I got it right".

So I've NEVER known what it's like to either be relaxed with myself or to be relaxed with life itself.
And I learned a long time ago NEVER to "take anything for granted"---and decades BEFORE this "9-11" incident.

Frankly, my main reaction to the after-effects of "9-11" on the average American was to be envious---of ANYONE who obviously could have such a cushy existence they could afford to just glide through their life all self-assured and with most things just "falling into place" for them, never "having to think twice about" anything.
I just could never believe it possible for any sensible and thinking person to be that "okay" with society and the world the way it is.

And as for terrorism:
Didn't the 1995 bombing of the federal building in downtown Oklahoma City have any kind of psychological effect on the general U.S. populace?
And what about the gangs, the crack dealers, and all other sorts of home-grown domestic terrorists?
...What ever was there to be "comfortable" and "serene" about in terms of even our own social climate? ---even LONG before September 11 2001?

Are the overprivileged and ever-fraternal "socially-correct" really so smug and overconfident that they could have, for so long, felt that "invincible" and "shielded from" the general calamities that can befall anyone under the right conditions?
Is it because they're so used to always-having-plenty-of-"backup" from loving relatives and loyal friends they just take-for-granted things will always work out, because they've never been in any situation or circumstance where they had to rely solely on their own mettle to try to get out of any sticky or near-impossible dilemma?

I wonder what life is like for these type of individuals.
...or at least what life WAS like for such types before "9-11"...or, maybe, before the present-day social, economic and political situation.

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