Friday, September 16, 2011

"Stall paranoia" in the men's room...

Why is it, every time I use a public restroom (just to take a leak) and some guy's in there taking a dump at the time he immediately starts frantically fumbling with the tissue paper to hastily wipe himself up and get out of there ASAP?

Can fate be so full of coincidences that I always just happen to enter these restrooms just as whoever's in the stall is just finishing up with their bowel movements? If so, I must say: "God sure works in mysterious ways." There must be some degree of divinity about all these coincidences.
Of course I, personally, suspect something more along the line of some kind of paranoia, as that explanation would better fit the type of social climate we live in.
Maybe these guys are just worried that I might miss the urinal and send a stream flowing into the stall and onto their shoes, sandals, or pantleg bottoms. At least I hope that's what it's all about.

Speaking of public restrooms come only men take dumps in public bathrooms? You never see women hog the facilities for ten minutes stenching the place up. Maybe only men are cursed with bad stomachs (or something).
Perhaps women are so obsessed with "feminine hygiene" matters that they do all their dumping at home so they can wash up right afterwards. It always seems to be so important for them to be unblemished, untarnished, and sterile in order to maintain an air of "perfectionism", crucial to being a "social princess" (or some damn thing like that). Heaven forbid a woman should ever be too "human"---that would kill the "feminine mystique" factor.

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